My last THOUGHT, My first WORDS

All the relatives came for my father's wake the night prior to the his cremation.  They came on the same night to chat-chat with one another.

In one of the conversation, the 'moment of death' was discuss...

Cousin A:  "I told my mum, at the moment of death, you must pray (chant mantra) repeatedly until the last breath, until your consciousness slips away."
Cousin B: "Yes, the final journey must be travelled alone.  No one can help you at the moment of death.  One must take care of oneself."
I quizzed: "What did you tell your mum to chant at that final moment?"
Cousin A:  " It's up to her.  Maybe can simply chant 'namo ahmeetoh, namo ahmeetoh, namo ahmeetoh...' until the consciousness slips away."

Prior to that night, I had not personally considered of what to do at the moment of my death.  The conversation set me thinking.  Yes, one day I will leave this world.  If I leave peacefully, it is a good idea to 'chant or pray repeatedly'  during the final moment, since I would not know the exact point in time my consciousness slips away.  That prayer must be short and easy.  That will be my last thought on this world, and my first words into the next world.  Now what should those words be?  Think Think Think!

After some thinking, I have chosen the 3 words "Thank you Jesus". Jesus is my link between this life and the next life.  I have considered other options like 'Praise The Lord', 'Have Mercy On Me Jesus', 'Jesus I Commit My Spirit', 'Save Me Jesus' etc.  But I finally decided on a 3-word-Thanksgiving.  Thank you Jesus for this life, and for welcoming me to the next life.

Thank you Jesus.  You made all these possible by dying for me on the cross, and then rose again on the third day.  YOU MADE ETERNAL LIFE POSSIBLE !!!

Jeremiah 20 -- Rise above discouragement

I can identify with Jeremiah.

Like what Jesus did while He was in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jeremiah also poured out his heart and his thoughts in Jeremiah Chapter 20.  It was a mixture of praise, of bitterness, of seeking forgiveness, of obedience and of discouragement.

v 13: Sing to the Lord, praise the Lord! For He has delivered the soul of the needy ones from the hand of evildoers.
Then starting from v 14, his expressed his immense pain and sadness...
v 14-18: Cursed be the day when I was bone; let the day not be blessed when my mother bore me...Why did I ever come forth from the womb to look on trouble and sorrow, so that my days have been spent in shame?

Please read the whole of Jeremiah 20.  Jeremiah was human, with human emotions.  On the whole, Jeremiah had done splendidly as an instrument of God.

We always tell new Christians the good news that they could obtain eternal salvation freely when they accept Christ.  As these new Christians grow in grace and faith, they would see the reality that a Christian life is not always a bed of roses. Life is not easier for a Christian. But with Christ, we are always stronger. We can overcome.

Beyond the sadness and the pain, God is still in control.

Today is Sunday 13 July 2014.

So many things happened in the last 2 weeks.

My father passed away on Saturday 31 May 2014.  I am still trying to make sense of what had happened.  I am still terribly sad.  God did not allow me the joy of witnessing my father's salvation.  My father did not accept Christ before he died.  I had been praying for my both my parents' salvation for thirty over years...yet they did not recognize Christ at their moment of death.  I could only ask God to give them the grace to recognize Christ after they entered the next world.

Then on Wednesday 2 July 2014, my father-in-law passed away.  He had embraced Catholicism.  After being baptized and received the 'Last Rites' while in hospital a few years ago, God let him lived another 4 years.  I am confident he died a Christian. Alleluia!

The last 4 deaths -- first my eldest sister, then my mother, then my father and now my father-in-law, all within 26 months, had really affected me emotionally.  The thoughts of life, the brevity of life, and what is important in life, are constantly churning in my mind, even in my sleep.

I have an emotional disposition.  But the irony is that I do not show emotion on my face. I am sentimental to the core. Sometimes I do not even understand my own emotion.

During the Sunday morning church service today, the pastor preached about praise, the power of praise.  Yes, I need to praise God for what had taken place -- that my father died a peaceful and happy man, confident that he was returning to the place where all his ancestors went before him. 

I like to cling on to the hope that when my father entered the next world, God would grant him the grace to recognize Christ, and to grant him a room in the house of God forever. 

God will still answer my prayer - because He died on the cross and rose again for me... And I have pleaded with Him for thirty over years.